16 Signs you're a Grown-up in the Style Stakes

Kate Winslet wears a great cut, colour and perfectly tousselled tresses. Credit: Rex

A survey this week (I know, there’s one every week and they’re usually to sell insurance) suggests that women reach their prime, style wise at 30.

Hmm. What they should have said was that women ascend to the foothills of peak style at 30. It’s a life-time’s journey. 30 is a good age, therefore, to leave some of your less felicitous style quirks behind, to take stock of where you want to go and how you’d like to be perceived on the way. It’s called Grown Up Dressing, and here are some of the signposts.

1. You’ve found a hairdresser who’s right for you. This is not based on how many “celebrities” they coif but how many times they make you look fabulous and whether you find one another’s company congenial. One of the weirder laws of style dictates that celebrity notches on a hairstylist’s scissors are  not a sensible way to gauge excellence. For one thing, celebrities are not always the best judge of anything (and are probably getting it free). For another, what works for Cheryl may not be a happy outcome for you. Finally, if they really are in demand, they will dump you at the click of Cheryl’s fingers, leaving you high and dry in the back of a cab on your way to the appointment.

2. You’ve stopped changing your hair colour every six months (although a wise women will always be flexible within two or three shades, depending on the season and the state of her skin). One doesn't like to be too proscriptive about these things, but I’d say 40 is a good time to go easy on the ricochets from peroxide to raven and fix on a spectrum that suits. You will also have learnt that shampoos with sodium laurel sulphate leach your colour faster.



3. You take your shoes to the mender before your feet have made contact with the pavement. If they’re leather soled and pointy toed, you take them to the mender before you wear them for rubber tips to stop the last scuffing. If the leather or patent on the heel is chipped, you either get them (invisibly) fixed or donate them to charity, no matter how much they cost. Bashed up heels are not grown up.

Contrast leather high heel shoes, £39.99, Zara 

4. You’ve had your foundation properly matched to your skin tone by a professional and learned that less is more. Caking it on all over is the quickest way to add five years – and a not very chic tide-line. When applying base, do as the US Drug Enforcement Agency does: spot check.

5. You’ve bought your underwear based not on a photograph of Rosie Huntington Whiteley, but after being correctly fitted by an expert (not a bored teenager on commission). You’ve learned that shapewear is most effective when manufactured and worn with a light touch. Too draconian and it makes you look sausage like, even fully clothed and more importantly, gives you stomach ache.

6. You’ve realised that no amount of shape-wear makes you feel as good as finding a form of exercise you enjoy and can stick to, especially since there is, as yet, no shapewear for arms, unless you count sleeves. It doesn’t have to be punishing – when it comes to toning, Pilates is more effective than running.

Le Labo Rose 31, £150 for 100ml, Liberty and Byredo Accord oud, £88 for 50ml, Selfridges 

7. You’ve discovered the kind of perfumes you like (floral or musky) and they’re not celebrity backed either. They may not even be available at the airport. So much more grown up.

8.  You’ve perfected the art of the tousselled but groomed ‘do (or your hairdresser has, see Kate Winslet, above). Rigid perfection can be ageing, but not caring how you look is immature. Saoirse Ronan’s Bafta pony tail was ideal.

9.Bitter experience has taught you how to look good in photos . The half smile, the smize (smiling with your eyes; try it. It’s tricky but worth practising), the drawing yourself up from the waist (but not too stiffly), the slight pulling in and down of the chin in…this is why models earn what they do.

10. You’ve stopped using cleansing wipes on your face, except when half way up Kilimanjano. The lazy (and dry-skinned) woman’s last resort.

Eau thermale avenue rich compensating cream, £16, Boots, hydra-global anti-aging cream, £145, Sisley

11. You’re using a decent moisturizer and not just slapping it on, but facial massaging it in. If you’re serious about doing it properly you can book a lesson with Alexandra Soveral (alexandrasoveral.co.uk) or type facial massage Lisa Eldridge on Youtube for a brilliant 20 minute (free) tutorial

12. You’ve worn metallics during the day. This doesn’t not mean Versace style chainmail to the office, or head to toe sequins, but it does entail deploying a smattering of dull bronze, silver or gold as a neutral. Full points if you texture –play against cashmere or tweed. Subtle, sophisticated, and very grown up indeed.

13. You’ve worked out that sexy isn’t synonymous with tight or tacky. It’s about cut fabric and attitude. Cleavage is fine, side and front boob flashing is not.

14. You’ve either learned how to apply eye-liner or abandoned ship. Wonky won’t do.

15.You know that tweed trousers make your bum look big, but tweed as a coat, jacket or top is a bone fide investment.

16. Investments. You factor in longevity into your spending calculations. Meanwhile, every grown up wardrobe could benefit from the following five wardrobe basics:

Leg lengthening, bottom lifting jeans. There are so many good ones out there, from Topshop to J Brand and  even – see below – Vétements, the only way to find the right pair is to make a day of it. Try them all on (go to one of the jeans bars in a department store and make them do the er, legwork) and decide how much you’re prepared to spend, based on cost (and pleasure) per wear. That's grown up.

A leather jacket. It doesn’t have to be a biker or black, but shiny, robust fabrics add polish and attitude to an outfit and never date.

Diamonds: discreet or Taylor-esque, there’s a reason why they don’t lose their value. Avoid staid designs

A crisp light blue shirt – a white shirt is, QED, a backbone in most wardrobes, but blue is softer, more interesting and while it goes with everything and is less likely to look like a stark uniform.

A Maxmara coat – they don’t come more classic (without being boring) or longer lasting. Jaeger used to be the British benchmark of coats but these are much better. Pricey, but  you’re a grown up and you’ve earned it.

Sophie Hulme milner nano envelope cross-body bag, £256, Matches

A gilt-chain bag – There will never be a time when you won’t be pleased you have one. The chain is not only handy, but decorative. Make quality a priority.  Sophie Hulme's are interwoven with leather which makes them hard-wearing.

A tailored blazer – there isn’t a woman, a time, or place this doesn’t suit.

Sourced- Telegraph